Sunday, August 12, 2007
Personal Shopper
A week or two ago, I was going out of town on a trip. Like most
women, I had nothing to wear, or at least nothing that seemed good
enough to wear. All my clothes were a bit on the shabby side with
those little pills that appear on garments or hemlines that fashion
left has behind.
This meant one thing -- time to go shopping.
I used to love shopping for clothes. I could spend hours at the mall
just looking and trying things on. However, the older I get -- and
the fatter -- the less appealing shopping for clothes has become. I
hate trying things on only to find that they are too small, make me
look even fatter, or are just not my style.
Nevertheless, I dragged myself to the mall determined that I would
find some new clothes to wear even if it killed me. After all, I
didn't want to go out of town looking like last year's closet.
At the department store, I selected what I thought was a nice
outfit, held it up in front of me and looked in the mirror. Another
shopper was watching. "No, that doesn't look good," she said. "You
need more color."
I was a bit surprised, but she was right. "Here try this one," she
suggested, handing me a turquoise top and skirt. I had to admit that
it did do more for me than what I had picked.
She selected another skirt. "I know where I can get a top to go with
this," she said, disappearing across the store. I continued to shop
thinking she was gone.
"No brown," she said, appearing behind me, "Something brighter." I
put back the dress I was looking at.
"I never match print tops and bottoms; it makes you look 70 years
old," she said. I put back the print skirt and top, feeling very old.
The next thing I knew, she was following me around picking out other
outfits for me to try on. What's with this lady? Is she a sales
clerk? No, she was a customer too.
"I love to shop!" she told me. Apparently, her fashion sense
extended to other shoppers as well. "What occasion are you shopping
for?" she asked. I told her what I had in mind. Soon I had an
armload of clothes to try on.
I escaped to the dressing room and tried everything on. Almost
everything worked. When I came out, she asked how they looked, and I
admitted that I was buying several of the outfits.
"You should be a personal shopper," I said.
I hid behind the dress racks so I could pick out my own clothes. But
everything I picked was navy. In fact, nearly everything in my
closet is navy. I had noticed that before I came shopping.
Guess I am in a fashion rut and needed someone to help me out. I was
going to give the lady my business card in case she showed up in one
of my columns, but when I came out of the dressing room for the last
time, she was gone.
I don't know what ever happened to her. Maybe she was a guardian
fashion angel, or something. Whatever it was, it worked out okay.
While I was gone out of town, I did some shopping on my own. There
was a Goodwill store right next to the hotel. They had some great
bargains. Now that I am in the mood, I am finding all kinds of
things.
There is a yard sell in my neighborhood next weekend, and I might
even go shopping again. I love bargains! Could that be part of my
problem?
If my guardian fashion angel is watching, I hope I don't pick out
anything that will embarrass her.
Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
http://www.humorcolumnist.com
------------------------------------------------
MAILBAG: Comments on last week's column and other misc. stuff
Just tell the GPS that you have wire cutters or the proper tool to
pull it's fuse; if it calmly says, "I won't let you do that,
Sheila...", then you've waited too long, I fear.
well i like your write ups \......its really nice
Many family members told me that Dunn's River Falls was named after
my great grandfather. Is there any information you can e-mail/call
me concerning the name?
I wanted to go to that convention, but my thrifty paper wouldn't
help pay the way. I'm so glad to get an insider's version of what
happened. How was Dave Berry? Please tell me he was terribly boring
and not worth the trip.... : )
A week or two ago, I was going out of town on a trip. Like most
women, I had nothing to wear, or at least nothing that seemed good
enough to wear. All my clothes were a bit on the shabby side with
those little pills that appear on garments or hemlines that fashion
left has behind.
This meant one thing -- time to go shopping.
I used to love shopping for clothes. I could spend hours at the mall
just looking and trying things on. However, the older I get -- and
the fatter -- the less appealing shopping for clothes has become. I
hate trying things on only to find that they are too small, make me
look even fatter, or are just not my style.
Nevertheless, I dragged myself to the mall determined that I would
find some new clothes to wear even if it killed me. After all, I
didn't want to go out of town looking like last year's closet.
At the department store, I selected what I thought was a nice
outfit, held it up in front of me and looked in the mirror. Another
shopper was watching. "No, that doesn't look good," she said. "You
need more color."
I was a bit surprised, but she was right. "Here try this one," she
suggested, handing me a turquoise top and skirt. I had to admit that
it did do more for me than what I had picked.
She selected another skirt. "I know where I can get a top to go with
this," she said, disappearing across the store. I continued to shop
thinking she was gone.
"No brown," she said, appearing behind me, "Something brighter." I
put back the dress I was looking at.
"I never match print tops and bottoms; it makes you look 70 years
old," she said. I put back the print skirt and top, feeling very old.
The next thing I knew, she was following me around picking out other
outfits for me to try on. What's with this lady? Is she a sales
clerk? No, she was a customer too.
"I love to shop!" she told me. Apparently, her fashion sense
extended to other shoppers as well. "What occasion are you shopping
for?" she asked. I told her what I had in mind. Soon I had an
armload of clothes to try on.
I escaped to the dressing room and tried everything on. Almost
everything worked. When I came out, she asked how they looked, and I
admitted that I was buying several of the outfits.
"You should be a personal shopper," I said.
I hid behind the dress racks so I could pick out my own clothes. But
everything I picked was navy. In fact, nearly everything in my
closet is navy. I had noticed that before I came shopping.
Guess I am in a fashion rut and needed someone to help me out. I was
going to give the lady my business card in case she showed up in one
of my columns, but when I came out of the dressing room for the last
time, she was gone.
I don't know what ever happened to her. Maybe she was a guardian
fashion angel, or something. Whatever it was, it worked out okay.
While I was gone out of town, I did some shopping on my own. There
was a Goodwill store right next to the hotel. They had some great
bargains. Now that I am in the mood, I am finding all kinds of
things.
There is a yard sell in my neighborhood next weekend, and I might
even go shopping again. I love bargains! Could that be part of my
problem?
If my guardian fashion angel is watching, I hope I don't pick out
anything that will embarrass her.
Copyright 2007 Sheila Moss
http://www.humorcolumnist.com
------------------------------------------------
MAILBAG: Comments on last week's column and other misc. stuff
Just tell the GPS that you have wire cutters or the proper tool to
pull it's fuse; if it calmly says, "I won't let you do that,
Sheila...", then you've waited too long, I fear.
well i like your write ups \......its really nice
Many family members told me that Dunn's River Falls was named after
my great grandfather. Is there any information you can e-mail/call
me concerning the name?
I wanted to go to that convention, but my thrifty paper wouldn't
help pay the way. I'm so glad to get an insider's version of what
happened. How was Dave Berry? Please tell me he was terribly boring
and not worth the trip.... : )
